Putting People on Pedestals


Have you ever come across somebody that you instantly liked and wanted to be friends with, but because you’ve put them in such a grand light, you’ve believed that you’re not good enough for them? Admittedly, I’ve done this a few times. I’ve met somebody – usually from afar – and have admired certain qualities about them (usually their leadership style, humour and charisma), and then when they’ve actually become friends with me later, I’ve been really shocked and haven’t understood how that could be. It’s the whole ‘Well you’re so great, so why on earth have you decided to hang around me?’

I’ve realised that this ‘putting people on a pedestal’ mindset is kind of nonsense. Just because somebody may have a number of traits that you admire, doesn’t mean that they are better than you. In fact, you may possess those very same traits that you see in them.

So, say that you are very shy, and you’ve just met somebody who is extremely outgoing and can capture a crowd. You may be very taken in by this person because a.) you have always wanted to capture a crowd like that and b.) their charismatic energy uplifts you every time they’re in the room. Firstly, if you are attracted to leadership, there is a good chance that you also have leadership qualities and could strengthen them with practice. Secondly, you may have traits that that outgoing person lacks/admires. So maybe you’re a really good listener and give great insight.

The problem with the “putting people on a pedestal” mindset is that we are treating people like they are extra-terrestrial-heavenly-gods, when in actual fact they are just people. People who also have insecurities. Doubts. Beliefs that they are not good enough and don’t belong. People who want to connect with others and are looking for the qualities that you have. People who have flaws. People who make mistakes. People who are your equals and can learn just as much from you, as you them.

Don’t become less of yourself just because you are around somebody who you admire. You are meant to be there, and your presence can touch that person in more ways than you will ever know.

Jess :)

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