You may have heard the phrase, “You’re the average of the five people you surround yourself with.” While I’m sure this phrase is statistically inaccurate, and that we are influenced by more than just our family and friends, I have found that the people we surround ourselves with can have a significant effect on our mood, attitude, work ethic and success.
I would say that for the large portion of my life, I have attracted friends who add to my life, and who uplift me. Thinking about my closest friends now … No two are the exact same. They have different personalities, different interests …They are unique. There are qualities about them, however, that they share, and these qualities make all the difference. I’ll dive into a few of these below.
Authentic – I would describe an authentic person as somebody who allows themselves to be seen for who they truly are. Even though they may have flaws, they are honest about these flaws, and they haven’t allowed the world to change them into somebody else.
Positive – I don’t know about you, but after speaking to a pessimistic and negative person, I have walked away feeling bad about myself and the world around me. Positive people are super important because they bring hope and joy into the world, and they can make you feel better just by being around them. While there are certainly problems in the world, we don’t need to add to this despair with our attitude. Positive people can get through a challenging situation by focusing on the good things around them and seeing hardships as lessons.
Supportive – Supportive friends are those who are happy for your successes, and there to encourage you when you are feeling down. They are there to offer their assistance whether it be advice, a cup of coffee or an ear to listen. When reaching a goal, you don’t have to do it all by yourself. The people you surround yourself with should be there to help.
Invested – Lack of investment is probably the number one reason why friendships don’t last. Examples of investing into a friendship are: checking up on each other, spending time with each other, giving each other gifts (a chocolate bar can be a gift – it’s the thought that counts), basically just taking an interest in each other. I think this is where it’s important to find out what each other’s love languages are. Some people feel loved when you spend time with them, others feel loved when you send them a message telling them why you appreciate them. There are also acts of service (washing their dishes), physical touch and gift-giving.
Ambitious/Motivated/Hardworking – While these traits may not be the be-all and end-all, they are important to me because, people who have them inspire me to be better. If my friend is working diligently on a project, networking with a number of people, studying … then I feel motivated to do the same. When somebody is parking off doing nothing, it is very easy for me to look at them and think, “They aren’t doing anything, so it’s okay if I do nothing too.” If you have a goal you want to reach, I would DEFINITELY suggest that you hang around people who are motivated and are working hard on achieving their own goals.
Intelligent – By intelligent, I don’t mean ‘Can discuss the Theory of Relativity’ or ‘Got 100% for their maths exam.” Intelligence to me is having an awareness of the events and people around us and being able to discuss these things. It’s being self-aware, listening to others, being empathetic… Whenever there is conflict, emotionally intelligent people are able to set their anger/hurt/ aside and have a mature conversation.
Open Heart – A person with an open heart is somebody who gives to others without expecting anything in return. They give with the intention of lessening the loads of others.
A person with this quality will not think twice about doing a complete stranger a favour. When stopped, they’ll offer directions; they help others with homework (Not doing the homework! Offering their assistance or pointing to somebody else that can help); they will go the extra mile to help someone in need.
Being a firm believer in the law of attraction, I believe that if you put positive vibes out, and say out loud or to yourself, “I want to surround myself with positive/motivated/supportive/etc people who bring out the best in me,” these people will appear. However, I believe that in order for these relationships to last, you have to invest in and love yourself. In this way, you are in a better position to give to others.
Moreover, it is not fair to attract somebody who invests in your life when you fail to make the effort of investing in theirs. If you want to surround yourself with positive people, be positive. If you want to surround yourself with motivated people, be motivated. Those motivated people aren’t going to enjoy hanging out with you, if you demotivate them or distract them from their goals.
So … that’s all from me this February. One of my New Year goals was to write a 44 blog post once a month, and I’m pretty proud of myself for managing to stick to that. If you’re here, be sure to press the heart button below, and write a comment sharing your thoughts. I LOVE hearing from you!
I’ll see you in March.